Guides · Words for the program
Wording for a funeral fundraiser
Reviewed by Mike
A funeral fundraiser asks for help with the cost of the funeral. Say whose funeral it is, what the money will pay for, who is managing it and how to give. Keep it short and plain, and thank people afterward, including those who could not give.
What to say
A fundraiser for a funeral asks people to help with its cost: the funeral home, the burial or cremation, the headstone, travel for family. The wording does not need to be long. People who knew the person already want to help, and what they need from you is the facts.
Every fundraiser should say four things:
- Whose funeral it is, with their full name, as people knew them.
- What the money will pay for, in a sentence.
- Who is managing it, by name and relationship, so people know it is genuine.
- How to give, and by when, if the funeral is soon.
A goal is helpful but not required. If you set one, use the real cost as the funeral home has given it to you.
The fundraiser page
Most fundraising sites ask for a title and a description. The title should name the person, so that people searching for them can find it:
- Help the Hale family with Walter's funeral
- Funeral expenses for Walter James Hale
- In memory of [name]: help with funeral costs
The description can be three or four short paragraphs. Here is an example written for Walter:
Walter James Hale died on August 22 at the age of 85.
Walter built boats at the Cross Street boatyard for forty-three years and gave most of what he had to other people. His family is now facing the cost of his funeral and burial, and we are asking for help.
Every gift will go to [funeral home name] for Walter's service and burial on Saturday, August 29. If more is given than the funeral costs, the rest will go to the Harbour Lifeboat Station, which kept watch over the water Walter loved.
This fundraiser is organized by Anne Hale, Walter's daughter. Thank you for remembering him with us.
A shorter version suits a family that would rather say less:
Our mother, [name], died on [date]. We are raising money to help pay for her funeral and burial. Anything you can give will help. Thank you. [Organizer's name], her son.
A message to share
Most gifts come from people who see the fundraiser shared by someone they know. A short message, sent by text or posted where the family's friends will see it, works best:
- As many of you know, we lost Dad on Monday. We have set up a fundraiser to help with his funeral. If you are able to help, the link is below. If you are not, your prayers and messages mean just as much.
- Walter's family is raising money for his funeral and burial. Any amount helps, and sharing this helps too. Thank you.
Say the words "if you are able" or something like them. Many people who loved the person will not be able to give, and they should not feel left out.
In the program or the obituary
The funeral program and the obituary can mention the fundraiser in one line, usually where an "in lieu of flowers" request would go:
- In lieu of flowers, the family would be grateful for help with funeral expenses. Gifts can be made at [fundraiser title and site].
- Those who wish may contribute toward Walter's funeral expenses through the fundraiser "Help the Hale family with Walter's funeral".
A long web address is hard to type from a printed page. Give the fundraiser's exact title and the name of the site instead, so that people can search for it. The "in lieu of flowers" wording guide has more on this line, including how to ask the funeral home to receive gifts by mail.
If you make the program here, the "In lieu of flowers" question takes this line as it is, and prints it on the back page.
Other ways people give
Not everyone will give online. Some funeral homes will accept gifts toward a family's bill directly, by check or card, so it is worth asking. Some churches take up a collection for the family at the service, which in many congregations is called a love offering. A card box beside the guest book at the service is also common.
If gifts will be mailed, give the funeral home's address rather than the family's. A house is often empty during the service, and the program says when that is.
Updates and thanks
Post a short update when the goal is reached, or when the funeral has taken place:
- Thank you. Because of you, Walter's funeral is paid for in full. We are closing the fundraiser now. We will never forget your kindness.
- The service for Mom was on Saturday, and it was everything she would have wanted. Thank you to everyone who gave, shared this page or sent a message. We could not have done it without you.
If more was raised than the funeral cost, say what the rest was used for, as the description promised. If less was raised, there is no need to say so.
Most fundraising sites show the family who gave. A short personal note to each person is kind, but it is not expected, and it can wait until the weeks after the funeral. The acknowledgment in the program can thank everyone who helped, including those who gave.
Questions people ask
- Is it all right to ask for money for a funeral?
- Yes. Funerals often cost more than a family has on hand, and many people would rather give than send flowers. A plain request, with a clear purpose, is well understood.
- Should we say how much the funeral costs?
- You can give a goal without explaining it line by line. If you do give a figure, make it the real one, and say what any money left over will be used for.
- Who should set up the fundraiser?
- One person the family trusts, who will answer questions and post updates. If that person is not the one paying the funeral home, check whether the fundraising site lets you name the family member who will receive the money.
When you are ready to make the program
Answer one question at a time and add photographs. The program is laid out for you, and you see all of it before you pay anything.