Celebration of life order of service

What makes it different

A celebration of life remembers someone by celebrating the life they lived. There is no set liturgy to follow, so its shape comes from what made the person who they were: their music, their food, their friends and the places they loved.

A few things set it apart:

• It may have no officiant. A family member or a friend can lead it, or a celebrant, a person trained to lead ceremonies such as this one. A minister can lead one too.
• It can be held later. The family can choose a date weeks or months away, when people can travel. It can follow a cremation, or a private burial held earlier.
• It can be held almost anywhere. A garden, a park, a restaurant, a community hall, a family home or a church. If it is held at a family home, leave the address off the program: guests are already there, and programs are kept and passed on long after the day.
• It can be religious or not. Some include a prayer or a reading from scripture, and some include neither.

A sample order

Change the parts, the order and the names to fit the person and the place.

1. Welcome. The person leading greets everyone, says a word about why you are here, and explains how the time will run.
2. Music. A song they loved, played or performed live.
3. A life remembered. A short story of their life, read by one person.
4. Stories from family and friends. Anyone who would like to can share a memory.
5. Slideshow. Photographs from across their life.
6. Music. A second song, perhaps one that everyone knows.
7. Closing words. Thanks to everyone for coming, and what happens next.
8. A toast. Everyone raises a glass together. Have something without alcohol on hand too.

If you make the program here, this is the wizard's "Celebration of life" starting order, ready to change line by line. The celebration of life program page shows it beside a sample program.

Rosa's celebration

Rosa Delgado taught third grade for thirty-one years, and with her husband planted an orchard, one tree for each child and then one for each grandchild. She asked for a party, not a service. Her family held her celebration of life in the orchard, with no officiant, and printed this order:

1. Gathering — Music by her students
2. Welcome — Carlos Delgado
3. Reading — Ecclesiastes 3, read by Lucía Delgado
4. Stories — Anyone who would like to
5. Song — Gracias a la Vida
6. Planting — A fig tree, in the north corner
7. Closing words — Her grandchildren

It follows the pattern of the sample order and makes it hers. The gathering opens with music from her students. The one reading, Ecclesiastes 3, is the passage that speaks of a time to plant. The stories are open to anyone, and the program says so in plain words. The planting of the fig tree gives everyone a moment to share, and the line names the place, "in the north corner", so people know where to go. The back page asks guests to stay as long as they like, with lunch under the trees.

June's family-led memorial

June Alvarez's family held a memorial service for her at Riverside Community Hall, and led it themselves. Her order:

1. Music as we gather
2. Welcome — Daniel Alvarez
3. A reading — "Remember" by Christina Rossetti
4. Remembrances — Her colleagues from Riverside General
5. Slideshow
6. Open words — Anyone who wishes
7. Closing — Her grandchildren

It is a memorial service rather than a celebration of life, but it follows the same pattern: a poem in place of scripture; remembrances from her colleagues at Riverside General, where she nursed for thirty-eight years; a slideshow; and time for anyone to speak. Her grandchildren close it.

Ideas that suit a celebration

• An open microphone, with a gentle time guide. A line such as "Stories — Anyone who would like to" invites people in. Ask whoever leads to call speakers up and keep time kindly. Suggesting two or three minutes each leaves room for everyone, and it helps to ask two or three people beforehand to go first.
• A memory table. Photographs, and a few things that were theirs: a hat, a recipe box, a fishing rod. Cards and a pen let guests write down a memory for the family.
• Their music. The songs they played in the car or sang in the kitchen. A friend who plays can make it live.
• A planting. A tree, a rosebush or a bed of bulbs, planted during the gathering, with the place named in the program.
• A toast. A few words from someone close, and a line in the program so that everyone has a glass ready.

Words for the cover

A cover heading such as "Celebrating the Life of" or "A Celebration of Life for" tells guests at once what kind of gathering this is. The name and dates alone are just as right. There are more headings, and wording for each part of the program, in funeral program wording, section by section.

The back page can hold the family's thanks, the details of any meal afterward, and a request in lieu of flowers. There are examples of that request in "In lieu of flowers" wording.

Requests belong in the invitation

If the family would like guests to wear bright colors, a favorite team's shirt or no black at all, say so in the invitation, the obituary or the online notice. By the time anyone reads the program, they are already dressed. The same goes for anything guests should bring with them.

The program is for the day itself: what happens, who is speaking, and where to go afterward.